An Army of Zombies Robs a Bank to Pay for Their Funeral Expenses!

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It was a hilariously horrifying scene last night when the deceased members of our community decided it was time for a little financial turnaround.

Indeed, in an absurd and macabre twist of fate, an army of obscenely indebted zombies managed to rob the local central bank, leaving chaos and confusion in their wake. According to eyewitnesses, they intended to use the stolen funds to pay their own funeral expenses, bills that have apparently haunted them for far too long.

“It was incredibly shocking, but also a bit moving,” said Bob Mortimer, a bank employee and direct witness to the incident. “You really don’t expect to see a zombie complaining about exorbitant burial costs. It’s a reminder that even after death, debts follow us.”

However, the most astonishing part is that the zombies were not only looking to repay their own expenses but also to help other needy zombies. They left a claim note stating, “We don’t want interest, just funeral justice for all the undead.”

“I always thought zombies were soulless creatures, but I must admit their actions have somewhat changed my perception of them,” Mortimer stated. “After all, who am I to judge? I’m just a mere mortal in the face of eternity.”

The local police are still on the lookout for this altruistic army of zombies. A spokesperson publicly declared, “While we do not condone this outrageous robbery, I hope this situation raises public awareness about the exorbitant cost of funerals. In the meantime, I advise all citizens to remain vigilant. You never know when a group of well-meaning undead might burst into your establishment.”