Avocados Control the World: The Elusive Truth Behind Our Favorite Fruits!

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Headline: Shocking research reveals the disturbing secrets behind the avocado craze. Is the story a spicy hoax with guacamole?

The world of conspiracy theories has been shaken today, as independent researcher Gustavo Le Verd unveiled a theory suggesting that avocados are actually in control of the world. These green-skinned fruits, so beloved in our salads or on our toast, are purportedly conscious entities with a Machiavellian plan to dominate humanity through their massive consumption.

“Look at the trends,” insisted Le Verd during an impromptu press conference in a grocery store parking lot. “The avocado craze has exploded in recent years. Why are we all suddenly obsessed with these large green fruits? It’s because they’re manipulating us, of course! They are on the verge of creating a new world order, and they’re using avocado toast as the vehicle for their domination!”

The evidence presented by Le Verd includes satellite images of avocado farms that, according to him, contain hidden esoteric symbols. He also claims that the shape of the avocado pit is the geometric expression of an ancient mathematical formula for mind control. Le Verd even cited several celebrities who have publicly expressed their love for avocados, labeling them as “unwitting puppets” in the avocados’ global domination plan.

“Avocados were never meant to be eaten,” Le Verd asserted agitatedly. “They were designed to be worshiped. Their green, velvety flesh is a lure, drawing us into their web of control. Our guacamole cult is nothing less than an involuntary worship ritual.”

Although this theory is not widely accepted, it has sparked heated debates on social media. Skeptics are plentiful, but some avocado consumers have opted for an avocado-free diet as a precaution. Still, the majority of avocado enthusiasts continue to devour their favorite fruits, oblivious or indifferent to the possibility that they might be pawns in a global domination game. In the end, this conspiracy theory adds a layer of mystery to our daily salad.