A startup is turning oxygen into an à la carte service, with ad-free options, scent filters, and a history of your sighs.
Promise: breathe better while spending less… battery life.
Oxylink has unveiled Air+, a connected mask that measures, monetizes, and optimizes every inhale. In the free version, micro-ads slip in between inhale and exhale (“This breath is brought to you by a glacier-scented detergent”). In Premium, sneezes become unlimited and sponsor-free, while an algorithm “rounds off” your yawns at the end of the day to preserve your weekly quota. Filters are bought like skins: Old-Growth Forest, Morning Tractor, or Waiting-Room Moon.
Adoption is meteoric among joggers who sync their strides to breathing playlists, and in open-plan offices where managers gamify oxygenation (“Top 10 productive breaths”). Reported side effects: involuntary humming of jingles during yawns, and menthol halos around people who are concentrating. At night, an update turns snoring into mini carbon credits tradeable for crisp inhales. “We don’t sell air; we sell inspiration time,” assures Hélios Varn, director of breaths at Oxylink.
Every emotion is priced: €0.02 per sigh, €0.10 for deep contemplation, €1.99 for a laughing fit if you want it to last more than 30 seconds. An anti-panic module locks your rapid inhales until you validate a pop-up: “Confirm that you are indeed afraid.” Offline mode exists, but allows only half-reliefs: the nose tingles, the soul coughs. For birthday parties, an “Unlimited Candles” pack guarantees wishes without buffering.
At the edge of the network, a gray market of “untracked” drafts is taking shape in stairwells, where people trade puffs from the old days in jam jars. Children collect scented cards that unlock secret gusts (“8-bit Breeze,” “Lukewarm Storm”). And as the air economy overheats, the app sends its weekly recap: you saved 3 sighs, spent 41 impulsive inhales, and earned a badge for not breathing during the meeting. Next update: dust-inclusive billing.
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