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In the beginning: In this cold winter, a new sophisticated and chilling threat shakes the global geopolitical balance.
As people around the world prepare their snowmen to celebrate the winter season, a radical group known as the “Snowman Decapitators” has emerged from the shadows. Not content with spreading chaos in gardens and public parks, the elusive group has made an official request for a permanent seat at the UN Security Council, arguing for insufficient representation of “defenders of warmth.”
“If it snows, we rise up, and we fight, so everyone can see green grass all year round,” said their spokesperson, Glisse Toujours, during a press conference held in a sauna at their headquarters, a heated igloo. “Winter is a conspiracy of nature to prevent us from enjoying our barbecues, sunbathing, and swimming pool dives. We will not be silenced.”
The group’s request has sparked outrage among international law experts. Ms. Lawrencia Paperstack, a world-renowned legal scholar, expressed her skepticism about it. “This is a dangerous precedent,” she stated. “If we start granting a seat to every group with a shovel and a dream, where will we end up? With a delegation of mud wrestlers? Nap champions?”
Despite the controversy, the group remains determined to secure a seat at the UN, with the slogan “Melt the snows, not the hopes.” However, they may face fierce opposition from the “Guardians of Ice,” a rival group fighting to maintain winter for as long as possible to “preserve the happiness of thousands of children playing in the snow.” The battle for winter is underway, so prepare for a ruthless struggle amid flying snowflakes.
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