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Too old to face the blazing sandstorms, the Sphinx of Giza has announced its imminent retirement in a surprising interview with our newspaper.
As tourists flocked around the Sphinx of Giza this morning, an aspiring photographer approached the lion-headed pharaoh to ask for its autograph. To everyone’s surprise, the Sphinx emotionally declared, “I think it’s time for me to say goodbye, I am tired.”
“The years have accumulated, and the pressure has become too great. I feel as if I was built thousands of years ago,” added the Sphinx, its voice seeming to emerge directly from the stone itself. This revelation shocked the crowd of tourists, many leaving with selfies accompanied by hashtags such as #RetiredSphinx and #EndOfAnEra.
“I just thought I’d get a cool selfie for my Instagram feed; I didn’t expect to witness such a historic moment,” said Madison Taylor, an Australian tourist who was present. “This really is the end of an era. Does anyone have any tissues?”
The Sphinx’s retirement raises many questions. Who will take its place? How will it spend its free time? Will it intervene in the debate over the restoration of historical monuments? Only time will tell.
“I look forward to relaxing and enjoying my days without having to worry about the hordes of tourists climbing on my back,” concluded the Sphinx. “And who knows? Maybe I will finally take that trip to Greece that I’ve always wanted to do.”
In the meantime, Egyptian authorities are on high alert, seeking to calm the masses of devastated fans and to find a worthy replacement for the resigning historical icon.
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