Incredible but true: the first vegetarian zombie starves to death! Life after death has never been so problematic.
It’s a sad day for zombies worldwide. Bob, the first vegetarian zombie, died last night, starving to death again after realizing that vegetables don’t have brains. His very specific diet, it seems, was his ultimate curse.
Bob, who had quickly become the darling of the undead community for his unusual dietary choices, disappeared without a sound, leaving behind a shocked and slightly less colorful world. Interestingly, he succumbed to his hunger in the fruit and vegetable aisle of a local supermarket.
“He broke the stereotypes of what it means to be a zombie,” sardonically explains Morticia of the Zombie Court. “He used to wander around the broccoli and carrot stalls with a hungry look, refusing any human flesh. That’s when we started to worry.”
Many zombies are devastated and concerned by this unexpected death. The search for an alternative diet has always been a major concern for this community struggling against its cannibalistic instincts.
A decomposing comrade of Bob’s, Boney, emotionally reveals: “He always had that spark of desire in his empty eyes when he passed a salad. He often told me: ‘Boney, if only these vegetables had a brain, I’d be the happiest of zombies’.”
Despite Bob’s tragic death, his legacy will not die. His inability to eat meat has inspired a new movement among zombies worldwide who are now actively advocating for the breeding of “brain vegetables”. All that remains is to find a mad enough geneticist to take this morbid request seriously.
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