Intro: A terrifying new food trend is taking over cemeteries: a ‘vegetarian zombie’ who can’t resist undead salads.
Article:
Gone are the days of fresh flesh or human entrails, a vegetarian zombie has been spotted, biting with delight into a green salad, freshly exhumed from a cemetery tomb. This unusual new trend disrupts the idea of classic horror and accusations of cannibalism are fading in the face of the new challenge: the necro-dietary zombie.
“Even the undead are going green now!” exclaimed Dr. S. Tombstone, a self-proclaimed expert in zombie-ology and frugivorous nutrition, with enthusiasm. “It’s proof that the vegan trend has truly taken on a global scale. Besides, it’s not a bad thing. Zombies attacking people have always been a real security problem.”
Dr. Tombstone, who has spent most of his life studying the undead in their natural habitat, suggested that this phenomenon could be linked to the increase in organic product consumption. According to him, the growing popularity of plant-based diets may have an effect on the undead’s food preferences, making them prefer the flesh of vegetables over that of humans.
But can we really say that zombies are becoming ‘eco-responsible’? “Just because they’re dead doesn’t mean they can’t care about the future of the planet,” suggests Dr. Tombstone, “our next challenge will certainly be to make them understand the concept of compost.”
However, detractors will note that this new dietary choice among the undead turns out to be a new scourge for our cemeteries. Groundkeepers report an increase in violated graves and ravaged vegetable fields. Not so eco-responsible after all, dear zombie!
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