Sub-title: A recent global study shows that our feline friends aren’t as innocent as they seem. Their purring and meowing may, in fact, hide an ultrasonic signal capable of disrupting your internet connection.
The world is in a frenzy following the publication of a study led by Dr. Snuffles, a self-proclaimed authority in the field of feline science. According to his research, cats can manipulate WiFi to influence their owners and those around them.
“Our domestic felines aren’t as innocent as they look,” says Dr. Snuffles at a highly anticipated press conference. “Their adorable purring and meowing are actually intelligent high-frequency waves, capable of disrupting your WiFi and influencing your thoughts.”
According to Dr. Snuffles, these waves are a natural evolution of cats to better control their environment. “Just imagine,” he says, “Your cat lies on your keyboard while you’re working. You think it’s just trying to get your attention, but in reality, it’s sending waves to interfere with your internet connection, reduce your productivity, and consequently, spend more time pampering it.”
This theory, although widely ridiculed by the scientific community, nevertheless raises some concern among cat owners. “I always knew there was something weird about my cat,” admits Mrs. Dupont, a resident of Paris, “I can never concentrate when he’s next to me. I thought it was just affection, but now I wonder if I’m being manipulated.”
Quoting the words of Charles Baudelaire: “The greatest triumph of the devil is to make you believe he doesn’t exist,” Dr. Snuffles concludes: “Never underestimate what your cat is capable of. After all, it’s the one watching you from above while you pick up its excrement.”
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