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The undead are demanding better working conditions. Are the coffins too narrow, or is it eternity that weighs them down?
The world shuddered in horror when the first zombie emerged from its grave. Today, it shudders with laughter as the horde of undead has decided to go on… strike! Indeed, after centuries of scaring humanity, they have chosen to raise their hand (or what remains of it) to advocate for their right to comfort in the afterlife.
“Sure, we are dead, but that doesn’t mean we should languish in misery and neglect of our own conditions,” declared Ghoulia, a 568-year-old union specter and spokesperson for the undead. She claims that the strike movement is a reaction to the indifference of the living world towards their post-mortem conditions. As if rising from the grave in the dead of night and terrifying the neighborhood wasn’t already exhausting, they also have to deal with the lack of comfort in coffins and crypts.
The main demand of this unusual movement is an adjustment to international funeral standards to improve the quality of coffins. “We’re tired of these old, rough wooden boxes; we want silk and natural latex mattresses,” Ghoulia continued. Unprecedented in the spectral realm.
Some living people are angry, others are amused, but most are simply perplexed. “I thought their only concern was to feed on our brains,” said John Doetery, a supernatural expert, with a hint of amusement in his voice. Never has the afterlife seemed so alive!
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