The Dernier Cri funeral home launches a loyalty card with a jingle, bonus points, and promo codes at the cemetery.
Between discomfort and a rising average spend, the Grim Reaper discovers aggressive marketing.
Neon posters, punchy slogans, and a black-caped mascot with a half-smile: the new campaign from Dernier Cri turns the final journey into a customer journey. “You matter to us… right to the end,” promise the signs planted outside the bakery, where people are whispering louder than usual. In the funeral home lobby, a totem display shows member status: Silver, Gold, and Platinum (with complimentary dried flowers).
“We’re meeting real demand: everyone wants to pay less for what they don’t want to buy,” says Mireille Grondin, the brand’s marketing director, stroking a chrome urn stand. “Our philosophy is simple: life is short, and so are our discounts.” According to her, the program racks up “remembrance points” and offers “lullaby-in-a-box weekends” to get acquainted with the product. No one asks for a demonstration.
Reactions oscillate between queasiness and the curated basket. In front of the satin-finished display windows, an embalmer sighs that he “didn’t sign up for happy hours,” while a neighbor admits he scanned the QR code “out of curiosity, not for me, well, I hope.” Competitor Tranquillus is already announcing a counteroffer: an “Eternal Nap” pack with an integrated playlist and farewell fees payable in installments, “no strings attached (except the final one).”
In the fine print, the poetry cuts sharper than the blade: offer not combinable, no refunds after use, proof of death required. Yet there’s a crush at the quote counter, faces grave but bank cards at the ready. In the line, a woman confides she came “just to get information,” and leaves with an hourglass-shaped key ring: a welcome gift, a smile guaranteed with no tomorrow.
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