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Independent researchers accuse Big Pharma of creating a herd of glowing unicorns solely to boost night glasses sales.
Recently, a herd of sparkling unicorns has been spotted frolicking joyfully in the prairies of the American Great Plains, illuminating the night like a New Year’s fireworks display. To say this is a surprise would be an understatement. But according to some independent researchers, this appearance is far from a natural phenomenon. They are convinced that it is a scheme orchestrated by Big Pharma.
“After a thorough analysis of the situation, we concluded that this is not a coincidence. It is a deliberate strategy to increase night glasses sales, as the light emitted by these unicorns makes sleep impossible,” explains Véronique Fleurdelisé, an independent researcher who has dedicated her life to studying sudden and unexplained changes in global wildlife.
Fleurdelisé adds: “We have tangible evidence that Big Pharma has recently invested billions of dollars in the production of night glasses, which is a clear indication of their plan.” She also accuses the pharmaceutical industry of genetically manipulating the unicorns to make them phosphorescent, stating that “Big Pharma is willing to go so far as to manipulate nature for profit.”
Despite the controversy, night glasses are selling like hotcakes in areas where the unicorns have appeared. “I never needed to buy night glasses before,” says a local resident, “but now, I can’t sleep without them. The unicorns are everywhere and make the night a constantly bright day.”
“Genetic manipulation is the only way to create phosphorescent unicorns. This is not a conspiracy theory; it’s a fact!” declared Fleurdelisé, adding that “the only thing that shines brighter than the unicorns is Big Pharma’s greed.”
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