The “Pompes Funèbres Dernier Cri” chain is rolling out killer deals this weekend on the final journey.
Lines at dawn, urn-shaped balloons, and a jingle as catchy as a cut-rate death knell.
By 6 a.m., the flagship store’s glossy black frontage was already packed: families took a number between two coffee stands while an emcee on the mic promised “peace of mind at a low price.” Inflatable arches of stylized bones, ash-colored garlands, and “Happy Ending Days” posters: the vibe swung between fairground and wake. “We’re meeting demand: simple, clean, with no emotional markup,” says the director in an anthracite suit, her eye twinkling like a votive candle.
In the face of public enthusiasm, a few outraged voices tried to douse the promotional blaze: a local association denounced “the packaging of the irreversible,” while neighbors complained about a promotional chime broadcast every eight minutes. The parent company, for its part, swears it complies with all regulations: urn traceability, a keepsake warranty booklet, and payment in three installments, “with no fees and no remorse.”
“It’s the first time a discount has made me put inflation into perspective,” confides, with feigned modesty, a customer who came “just to take a look” and left with a customizable light-oak model. He promises to come back Monday for the DeFidelity card, stamped with a discreet “See you soon (but not too soon).” And if you miss the promo, don’t panic: management is already announcing a “Somber Weekend” next month, with delivery of wilted flowers included.
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