A pop-up funeral home sets up in the mall and slashes prices, to the great dismay of the living.
Between macabre coupons and “Last Selfie” bundles, the Grim Reaper now has a trendy corner.
Early this morning, between a donut chain and a perfumery, a glossy black booth rolled out coffins the way others roll out limited-edition sneakers. Disciplined lines, baskets full of “Scent of Remembrance” candles, tote bags reading “See You Very Soon” handed out with a surgical smile: the hereafter has never been so photogenic. You try the wood like you try on a jacket: mirror, soft, flattering lighting, a modest curtain, and a funeral advisor in a black shirt, truly attentive.
On the menu of offers, the “Express Serenity Pack” promises a tidy departure before the weekend, while the “Influ-ultimate” option includes a ring light, exit playlist, and a QR code on the headstone for posthumous comments. Fine print: no returns, no exchanges, no miracles. “We wanted to take the drama out of the moment and, well, make a bit of revenue,” slips the booth manager, buffing a satin lid. “We all die equal, just not at the same price.”
Some customers talk optimization, others talk fate. “Honestly, at this price, I’m dying to,” sighs Nadège, 34, testing a memory-foam mortuary mattress, before asking whether emoji engraving is included. On the way out, a security guard invites everyone to scan the “Click & Rest” code to track their order: discreet notifications, delivery guaranteed “before the end.” The mall reminds shoppers that no product demo will be conducted on-site, even in the event of high turnout.
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