Degrees gone wild: Zucchini 12B disqualified, the village reels

In Saint-Rognon-sur-Layon, the star of the Zucchini Curvature Contest loses the Torsadou by 2.4 degrees too many.
Supporters cite a measurement on a wobbly table and demand the recalibration of the town protractor.

It’s all anyone is talking about between the bakery and the phone booth: 12B, known as “La Gypsette,” was struck from the honors list fourteen minutes before the awards ceremony. Reason: a curvature recorded at 91.6°, that is, 2.4 degrees beyond the charter limit set since 2011 by the Circle of Twisted Vegetables. The disqualification deprives its grower, Gilberte P., of the right to light the communal oven at the Bread Festival on Saturday and to affix the “Curve of Honor” sticker to her trailer.

At the heart of the storm: a fluorescent protractor, lent by the CE2 class (third grade), and a plywood folding table set too close to the door, where a draft is said to have “exaggerated the curve.” The jury swears it followed protocol—weight before angle, angle before photo, photo before applause—but 12B’s defenders point to a crease in the tablecloth and a straw hat falling at the critical moment, likely to have made the reading wobble. “I measured four times at home, on the cutting board, I was at a clean 89.2. Do they take me for a gherkin?” curses Gilberte P., in a starched apron, who says she can produce a certificate of non-intrusive staking.

The head referee remains unmoved. “A curve is a curve, not a feeling. We set down the template; it didn’t fit, period,” says Hubert L., who does admit that a piece of cork shim may have been “perhaps a bit nibbled by the neighbor’s dog.” In the meantime, a cast-shadow commission was convened behind the salt shed to check whether the 2:02 p.m. sun angle might have thrown a favorable illusion. Verdict expected before Thursday market.

In the meantime, 12B has been kept out of sight—in the blue, striped jam basin, near the committee fridge—and the Torsadou sits under glass at the interim winner’s, the quiet specimen 7A, “The Little Parenthesis.” If the forecast rain naturally straightens the zucchinis in the batch, a re-measurement could be held Sunday morning, “before the heavy dew, otherwise it cheats,” the rulebook specifies. The village is holding its breath; so are the ratatouille menus.