Simplification Center: to obtain stamp A, present stamp A

In the halls of the Unified Counter, clarity gets lost among contradictory arrows.
Here, proof of good faith is granted provided you prove you don’t need it.

This morning, the line snaked in front of a door marked “Open when closed.” A screen called “Number 0, next: previous,” while the clerk invited everyone to “come back without delay, but later.” On the wall, an illuminated map guided you to Counter 3, with arrows from top to bottom, then from right to right again. Posters promoted the new simplicity: “A single form for all,” followed, in small print, by “A37-bis-ter, in four copies, front-and-back-and-back.”

To obtain Attestation A, you must first present the Non-Attestation A, issued upon presentation of Attestation A. Online, the portal requires the “Unprintable Printed Digital Original,” to be uploaded, bearing a handwritten signature, via a non-handwritten signature. “I was told I have to come back yesterday, but before tomorrow, with a document that exists only if I don’t request it,” sighs Adèle M., notebook clutched to her chest, “and above all, not to forget the supporting document proving that I can’t justify it.”

Behind the counter, goodwill runs up against shifting rules: the clock reads “Closed 4 pm–5 pm,” a time slot during which only the priority counter operates—priority for those who can prove they aren’t. The ticket dispenser issues tickets upon presentation of a ticket; the mediator directs you to a room “Complaints — to be filed elsewhere.” An internal memo explains that the file is incomplete because it is complete, and that it will become complete as soon as it ceases to be.

The loop closes with the mail: letters come back stamped “Unknown at this address because present at reception.” They promise a “100% paperless process” that requires you to show up in person, with your ID kept in the sealed envelope that no one can open without checking the ID. Above the exit, a banner reassures: “Simplification in progress.” Just below, a maze-shaped evacuation map reads: “You are here. To leave, start by arriving.”