The Ministry of Clocks bans Tuesdays from going past 3 p.m.

At dawn, lawmakers voted a reform of time after a twenty-seven-hour session,
interrupted by the discovery of a clandestine Thursday in the Assembly cloakroom.

The government announced yesterday the creation of a High Authority for Clocks, tasked with putting weeks “the right way round.” Starting Monday, Tuesdays must end at exactly 3 p.m., in order to reduce administrative delays and prevent meetings from spilling over into Wednesday.

The measure was adopted unanimously, after lawmakers noted that several clocks were running fast out of solidarity with the calendar. A special commission will inspect ministers’ watches and may confiscate any dial accused of “repeat tick-tock offenses.”

“Time is a public resource: no one should be able to take two minutes without filling out form 7-B,” declared the Minister for Temporal Affairs, before asking whether her train had arrived yesterday or tomorrow.

Bakers, teachers, and sundials are already requesting an exemption. In the meantime, residents are asked to show up for their appointments “at the usual time,” a notion the administration promises to define before the end of the month — or of the quarter, depending on the clocks.