Content:
Have researchers at the secret laboratory in Greenland discovered a new weapon of mass destruction? Mutant penguins, the unwitting stars of the latest global conspiracy.
The conspiracy world is in an uproar following the shocking revelation of a theory stemming from the equally esoteric website “IceTruth.com.” Their claim? Researchers based in Greenland have created an army of mutant penguins intended to trigger the next apocalypse. This is supposedly in perfect collusion with manufacturers of coolers and down jackets, who aim to boost their sales.
According to “IceTruth.com,” scientists at the secret laboratory in Greenland injected the penguins with genes from turkeys, porcupines, and even piranhas. The result would be a flying, spiky, carnivorous creature capable of surviving in the most extreme conditions and causing unprecedented chaos. “This is a deliberate maneuver to force the world into a new ice age, thereby increasing the demand for cold-related products,” the site claims.
“They want us to believe that global warming is our greatest threat, but the truth is much colder, if I may say so,” declares Reginald Icicle, the anonymous founder of IceTruth.com, who claims to have sources within the laboratory itself. “The real threat comes from hordes of mutant penguins who, under the pretense of innocently playing in the snow, are actually planning their world domination. And who benefits from all this? The manufacturers of coolers and down jackets, of course. Wake up, for heaven’s sake!”
Despite the lack of tangible evidence supporting these claims, the idea has quickly gained traction on conspiracy websites across the web. Internet users are excited about this theory, finding a new topic of concern after exhausting those regarding aliens and Santa Claus. Manufacturers of coolers and down jackets, for their part, remain silent, thus giving themselves a free hand to plan their counterattack against the mutant penguins.
Be First to Comment