When points rack up faster than condolences, a local company turns mourning into a rewards program.
Outrage, morbid curiosity, and “Forever” mugs already sold out: the business of the beyond is fully booked.
In front of the window of Le Dernier Cri Funeral Home, the crowd squeezes between two garish posters: “Pay in installments, leave just once” and “Funeral cashback: every farewell counts.” Inside, a display offers points-based gifts—scented candles in “optimistic chrysanthemum,” an anthracite throw blanket “eternal nap”—while a light-up sign unblinkingly repeats the star offer: “10th coffin free.”
“We’re taking the drama out of departure and rewarding loyalty: death is a market like any other,” swears Géraldine M., marketing director, showing a black card embossed with the name “Deceased client.” “Our customers want transparency, discounts, and premium service. We’re not inventing anything; we’re meeting demand.”
In the line, reactions swing between gag reflex and full basket. “I find it creepy, but I still grabbed the brochure—you never know,” mutters a neighbor, clutching a “Serenity Pack (with shroud)” flyer. A competitor chokes on a bitter laugh: “After the winter sales, will we have sales from beyond the grave? It’s emotional dumping.” Meanwhile, the shop says it has “already tripled” its stock of ribbons and loyalty cards, “out of foresight.”
The fine print, for its part, has all the tact of a neon death notice: points non-transferable, no combining with other tragedies, no birthday bonus, and “offer valid as long as the person concerned is still breathing (precondition).” A consumer group is already wondering: can you return a funeral freebie if it reminds you too much of the end? Management, unflappable, promises a “24/7 hotline, for those who no longer have all the time in the world.”
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