In a surprising twist, conspiracy theory enthusiasts are now accusing dark chocolate manufacturers of colluding with the global association of dentists.
Dark chocolate, once praised for its supposed health benefits, is now under fire. Self-proclaimed ‘free-flavor’ activists, led by the ambiguous dentophobe Gustav Cavity, expressed their concerns this week, claiming that dark chocolate is actually a mind manipulation tool used by the global association of dentists to ensure the survival of their profession.
“Just imagine,” Cavity declared at a rally in Toothless Town, “if everyone stopped eating dark chocolate, our teeth would be healthier. We would need dentists less, and they would lose their grip on our mouths and our wallets. It’s a chocolate conspiracy, I tell you.”
Cavity bases his theory on the increase in dark chocolate consumption worldwide over the past few years and the seemingly simultaneous growth of the dental industry. “It’s obvious that the more we eat dark chocolate, the worse our teeth hurt and the more we need to go to the dentist. Coincidence? I think not.”
In response to the allegations, the World Association of Dentists released a statement saying: “We support moderate consumption of dark chocolate. Claiming that dentists are in cahoots with chocolate manufacturers to control minds is as ridiculous as claiming that cavities are an invention of our profession.”
Despite this statement, Gustav Cavity and his supporters remain determined to unmask this alleged hoax. “The truth is reflected in the dental mirror,” proclaims Cavity, paraphrasing a false quote from the famous 18th-century dentist, Pierre Fauchard.
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