For all those wondering where their socks disappear to, a baffling new theory arises from the conspiracy world: elves are to blame!
Every year, thousands of people around the world suddenly lose a sock from their favourite pair. Scientists, perplexed, have so far attributed these disappearances to microscopic black holes or strange time loops. But the theory of sock-stealing elves is gaining ground.
According to Gwendolyn McFairy, a renowned conspiracy theorist, elves live in a complex underground society and have an inexplicable fascination for human socks. “I’m convinced they use our socks as a form of currency in their society,” she says confidently. “It’s the only possible explanation for the disappearance of millions of socks each year.”
Gwendolyn has even developed a detailed theory on how these elves operate. “They must have infiltrated agents who live secretly in our houses, probably disguised as everyday objects,” she claims. “They wait for the right moment to steal our socks and take them back to their world.”
To support her theory, Gwendolyn cites an apocryphal quote from the famous fantasy author, J.R.R Tolkien: “Each of our lost socks enriches the kingdom of the elves.” Although this quote is nowhere in his published works, McFairy insists it comes from an unpublished private letter of which she has obtained a copy.
“I think this is a warning for all of us,” concludes Gwendolyn. “We must be more vigilant with our socks. Who knows what disastrous consequences could occur if the elves controlled the global sock market?” Whether this new theory can be verified or not, it certainly gives us something to consider the next time we open our sock drawer.
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