The secret gardeners’ movement is allegedly preparing a peculiar plot related to tomato cultivation, with the aim of controlling the minds of innocent consumers.
The astounding revelation was unveiled by an anonymous gardener claiming to have worked for years for the secret organization of the Brotherhood of Gardeners. According to him, these gardeners would secretly plant genetically modified tomatoes in our own gardens. These tomatoes, with a perfectly normal taste and appearance, would contain psychoactive substances that alter consumer behaviour.
“Once ingested, the psychoactive tomato induces a frantic addiction to gardening activities,” claims our source. “The ultimate goal? To create an army of amateur gardeners, totally devoted to the green cause and unaware of their grip.”
The secret substance has, so far, no dangerous side effects, unlike some other conspiracy theories related to food. However, victims find themselves with a sudden and excessive enthusiasm for planting vegetables, maintaining roses, and compulsive buying of garden gnomes.
When we sought explanations from the Brotherhood of Gardeners, their spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous, denied any involvement: “These are absolutely ridiculous allegations,” he stated. “Gardeners are not conspirators. We have only one goal: to beautify our green spaces and share our love for nature. Besides, we strongly condemn any genetic modification of plants, whether it’s tomatoes or zucchinis.”
This affair, however, raises questions. Haven’t you noticed a sudden passion for gardening in your neighbour? Don’t you find it strange that the most urban person you know has suddenly decided to plant tomatoes on their balcony? These are topics to fuel your discussions at your next barbecues, where, for added safety, we recommend opting for cucumber salad.
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