Introduction: Politicians discover a new skill: transforming into future seers. A supernatural wave seems to have invaded the parliamentary chamber.
A breath of fresh air is blowing over French politics. After noting their inability to anticipate the consequences of their actions, our leaders are attempting a new approach: turning into future seers. Economics, international relations, and law are over, the future of France is now in the hands of these modern-day Nostradamus in neckties.
“We think it’s an innovative approach,” declares Deputy Jacques de La Clairvoyance, member of the brand-new Bureau of Extra-Sensory Affairs. “Rather than relying on experts, who often get things wrong, we’re now going to use our crystal balls and tarot cards to guide our nation towards a prosperous future.” The deputy refused to comment on rumours that he’d planned his next vacation based on a horoscope from the magazine “Weird Cat”.
Despite initial skepticism, this technique seems to be gaining followers. Senator Marguerite from the Future recently submitted a bill based on a vision she had after an intense séance. “I saw a France covered in concrete, with roads everywhere, skyscrapers in every city, and factories in every village. It’s a terrifying vision, but it’s also an opportunity. We should invest in concrete. It’s the future.”
Among the senator’s flagship proposals is the installation of concrete dispensers in every municipality with more than 50 inhabitants, a measure that has not been without controversy. “It’s simply ridiculous,” comments economist Jean-Paul Beton, “At this rate, we’re going to exhaust all our aggregate resources within a few years.”
Regardless, one thing is certain: French politics has definitely entered a new era. As the Prime Minister succinctly summed up in the last session at the Assembly: “From economic forecasts to Madame Irma’s predictions, it’s just one step. And we’ve decided to take it.”
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