Stamp here to prove you had a stamp

In the labyrinth of service windows, the attestation of having requested the attestation becomes an open sesame to a door that doesn’t exist.
Between priority lines slower than the others and forms that contradict each other, the citizen learns to go in circles.

At dawn, the line snakes in front of a building that opens only at 8 a.m. “except when heavy crowds require an early closure.” First obstacle: the ticket dispenser demands a prior ticket issued at the counter opposite, closed “until reopening.” Those who come to renew a card are asked to prove they still have it; those who no longer have it must provide a copy of what they no longer have. On the walls, an arrow marked “One-Stop Counter” points to three of them, all at the end of the same corridor.

“I now have six receipts confirming that I don’t have the right receipt,” whispers Élodie M., who came “just for a duplicate.” On the official website, the process is “without appointment”; on the door, “by appointment only”; on the phone, “the switchboard does not handle this type of request, please consult the website.” The virtual adviser suggests ticking the box provided to indicate that you cannot tick the box. Inside, you’re handed a form to fill out in black pen, then black pen is refused because “the photocopier’s light prefers blue.”

The priority of priorities requires proof of priority to be obtained only after passing through the priority of priorities. The “certificate of presence” is issued only to people already present in the room where the certificate of presence is issued. To have a signature validated, you must book an appointment online via a QR code printed on a poster that you can only obtain at the appointment in question. At 11:59, the counter closes for a break “from noon to 2 p.m., adjustable without notice depending on the time.”

At the end of the journey, everyone leaves with an “acknowledgment of passage with no follow-up,” stamped twice, one of them above the note “do not stamp.” The evacuation plan, clearer than the circuit of procedures, shows an exit that leads back to the entrance. Processing is promised “within the best non-contractual timeframe,” subject to an unfindable document attesting that all the other documents exist. At the time of printing this edition, we were asked to provide printed proof that it would be printed.