Counter 12 closed, please proceed to Counter 12

To get a ticket, you must already have one: the administration is perfecting the art of going in circles.
Between doors that open inward toward the maze and forms that can’t be found, users are learning circular patience.

At the Multipurpose Center for Procedures, the signage assures: “No appointment, no service.” But to get an appointment, you must show up at reception “with proof of passage.” The proof? A stamp issued at Counter 12, closed “until reopening,” which invites you to go… to Counter 12. Upstairs, a wayfinding map with arrows sends you back to the ground floor, where another map explains that orientation begins upstairs.

The forms are no better: the BX-17 can only be requested with last year’s BX-17 proof; for newcomers, a “certificate of having already been new” is required. The F-9 bis exists in three incompatible versions, two of which must be filled out “before you know which of the three applies.” “To simplify, we have centralized the dispersion,” asserts, standing firm in his circulars, the Head of Unpredictable Pathways. “If you have any doubts, start again at the beginning, which is located at the end.”

The online portal promises to be open 24/7, except during the hours of continuous unavailability. Creating an account requires a code sent by post; receiving the letter requires confirming your email using the code… sent by post. The chat invites you to “click here to talk to someone” and sends you to the home page, which sends you back to the chat. The posted hours proclaim “open from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. except when closed”; the lunch break, from 11:30 a.m. to 3:45 p.m., ends at 3:46 p.m., at which time ticket distribution, which closed at 9:01 a.m., resumes the next day.

At the end of the course, the most tenacious leave with a “certificate of nonexistence of error,” valid until its automatic cancellation. The complaint must be filed before you obtain the grounds for the complaint, which are communicated after the filing deadline. People whisper in the line that “your request has been closed with no further action because the further action has been opened with no request.” And already, at the door, a reassuring sign says: “Stay calm: everything is under control, elsewhere.”