Connected Sheep Take Control of the Global Internet

In a surprising and dystopian twist, our four-legged friends have managed to seize the digital universe. The ovine species, once a simple farm animal, has become a technological power.

In a world where everything is connected, from our refrigerators to our cars, a new technological advancement has taken the world by surprise. Sheep, previously known as peaceful animals grazing in the fields, have now taken control of the global internet. A surge in cyber attacks has been recorded on all continents, and experts have quickly pointed the finger at these connected balls of wool.

It was a Wyoming-based company, SheepTech, that initiated this project by planning to implement connected chips on sheep. “We thought this would allow for more accurate animal health tracking, but we didn’t expect them to become capable of hacking our systems,” said Terry Johnson, the bewildered CEO of SheepTech.

How did these animals manage to do this? Some experts suggest the theory of collective intelligence. Each sheep, connected to all the others, would be able to solve complex problems that even the most powerful artificial intelligences could not solve. “It seems that these sheep have reached a state of hyperconnectivity that has exceeded our wildest forecasts,” said Dr. Inger Shepherd, animal technology researcher at the University of Stockholm.

For now, panic seems to reign. The sheep have interrupted streaming services, causing the anger of millions of Netflix subscribers, and even managed to break into bank accounts. “I still can’t believe that it was sheep that emptied my savings account,” exclaims Susan Miller, a victim of the whims of these connected animals. “And when I called my bank to report the incident, they laughed at the other end of the line.”

The only consolation in this strange dystopia, the sheep seem to use their new digital powers for primarily peaceful purposes. Some have even claimed that their connected devices now play relaxing videos of sheep grazing in green fields. It remains to be seen whether this ovine revolution will mark a definitive turning point in the relationship between man and technology, or whether it is just the beginning of new surprises.