A Man Can Fly Thanks to His Beard: He Defies Gravity

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In an inexplicable phenomenon, a man from Milwaukee claims to have discovered the secret of flight through his beard. Scientists around the world are astonished.

Tim Johnson, a simple 45-year-old carpenter from Milwaukee, recently shook the international scientific community by claiming to have uncovered the mystery of human flight: his beard. Having grown his beard for over 20 years, Johnson asserts that the unruly hairs on his face possess anti-gravity powers.

“I discovered my beard’s ability to fly completely by accident,” Johnson explains. “I was in my garden, trimming my bush. Then, I fell off the ladder and instead of crashing to the ground, I started floating in the air. Immediately, I deduced that it was my beard holding me up. I did a few loops around the garden before realizing that I could steer simply by tilting my head in the desired direction.”

Scientists are striving to understand this phenomenon. A number of them have hypothesized that Johnson’s beard, which measures sixty centimeters and is made up of copper-red hairs, could contain the mythical element “levitassium,” which has so far been considered fictional.

In a stunning quote, Johnson stated, “I am willing to offer my beard for science, but only if I am promised that I can continue to fly. Without my beard, I’m just a simple carpenter, but with it, I am a bird.”

Meanwhile, Johnson continues to amaze and astonish the people of Milwaukee with his aerial feats, inspiring a new generation of bearded individuals to reach new heights. He also plans to cross the Atlantic in the coming months, a challenge that is generating excitement and anticipation among both spectators and beard enthusiasts.