In a crunchy piece of news coming out of the City of Lights, the Eiffel Tower appears to have shrunk due to an unexpected allergic reaction to the quintessential French cheese.
It may seem inconceivable, but our famous Iron Lady is in crisis! Usually measuring a dizzying height of 330 meters, recent measurements indicate that the metal structure has inexplicably lost 15 meters. Experts in architecture and cheese allergy have been called in to look more closely at this atypical situation.
“The Eiffel Tower is a wrought iron structure, but we had never considered that it could develop a sensitivity to dairy products,” says Dr. Jules Bonnot, a cheese allergy specialist, a specialty quite unusual, even for France. “It seems that the accumulation of Camembert vapors, coming from the daily picnics of tourists and locals, triggered this reaction.”
According to Dr. Bonnot, the problem could be solved by an “intensive cheese decontamination treatment”, a term that had probably never been used until today. However, the process could take several months, during which the Eiffel Tower might have to be closed to the public. The impact on local tourism and the international fame of the tower could be considerable.
“The shrinking Eiffel Tower, it’s like if the Mona Lisa suddenly developed a sunburn,” said Maurice Baguette, director of tourism in Paris. “This is a situation we take very seriously. We promise to do everything in our power to restore our dear Iron Lady to her majestic height.”
This news will certainly be a topic of conversation for Parisians, cheese lovers, and tourists from around the world, who will no doubt wonder if other landmarks could be at risk. Could Big Ben develop an aversion to tea? Could the Statue of Liberty stop shining because of a hamburger overdose? Only the future will tell.
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