*This new conspiracy theory upends the fundamentals of anthropology. Marginalized researchers claim to prove that our ancestors are not primates, but… unicorns.*
Here’s a theory that’s hard for the scientific world to swallow! A team of rebel researchers, known as “The Unicorn Heritage Group,” claims to have found irrefutable evidence linking modern humans to unicorns, rather than to primates, as the scientific consensus asserts. Indeed, they argue that our genetic code contains sequences directly inherited from these mythical creatures.
To substantiate their thesis, the researchers of “The Unicorn Heritage Group” rely mainly on a series of laboratory experiments and analyses of fossils which, they claim, demonstrate a clear and indisputable genetic correspondence between Homo Sapiens and unicorns. In response to the refutations from the scientific community, they argue that the lack of unicorn fossils is simply explained by the fact that unicorn horns, made of an unknown material, would not fossilize.
The team’s spokesman, Dr. Irwin Tinfoil, confidently asserts that “the unicorn is the direct ancestor of modern man, not only on a genetic level, but also on a behavioral level.” According to him, man’s propensity for invention, creativity, and myth-making is directly linked to the legacy of unicorns, which would be beings of “pure fantasy.”
However, it should be noted that the research team has received no support from the scientific community. Experts are categorical: it is a conspiracy theory, based on unscientific evidence and erroneous interpretations. Yet, Dr. Tinfoil persists: “The truth is there, in our own DNA. We are the descendants of unicorns. One day, science will no longer be able to deny this reality.”
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