Content:
In short: In an unexpected turn of events, ostriches have taken control of the government in a coup arranged. Their promise? More pellets for everyone.
In an unexpected turn of events, world leaders have been overthrown by a well-organized rebel group of ostriches. Claiming to have reached a higher level of consciousness thanks to a diet based on Magical Potato roots, this avian coalition promises a new world of equality and prosperity for all flightless birds.
“The avian revolution is underway,” declared their spokesperson, an ostrich named Gertrude, at an impromptu press conference. “The days of discrimination against emus, kiwis, tortoises, and other flightless animals are over. Today, we will sow the seeds of a new future, a future where every land creature can run at a speed of 60 km/h without fear of being called a strange bird.”
The global economy has been shaken by this news, with global markets for seeds and earthworms experiencing unprecedented increases. Gertrude has promised major reforms in the agricultural sector, famously stating: “A seed in the beak is worth more than a worm in the hand. We will ensure fair access to all seeds for all flightless birds in the world.”
Resistance to this change is organizing, but it struggles to find common ground. The flamingos, leading the charge, have criticized the lack of plans for shrimp distribution, their main food source.
With unparalleled momentum and fierce determination, it seems that the ostriches are here to stay. Only time will tell if Gertrude’s reign will bring the promised prosperity or if the world will simply find itself in a feathered mess.
Be First to Comment