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In opening: Suffering a perfect revenge after years of shameless consumption, vegetables are finally rebelling against humanity.
Vegetables in power in a deliciously sinister revolt! In a cruel twist of fate, our green friends have decided to rise up against their former oppressors. The era of pumpkin soup and grated carrots is over, making way for vegetables infused with a vengeful spirit.
It all started when Richard Plant, a local farmer, noticed that his radishes were not as docile as usual. Instead of being picked without resistance like they typically are, they stubbornly remained firmly planted in the ground. This was followed by a vegetable earthquake that Plant describes as the “Day of the Tomato.”
“The tomatoes began rolling towards me like a herd of angry bison,” Plant recalls, still traumatized. “I had to run to save my skin. Those little things are faster than they look.”
Since then, events have escalated. Asparagus have been puncturing tractor tires, cabbages have caused a massive traffic jam on the A4 highway, and potatoes have blocked supermarket entrances, preventing any attempts at human escape.
The scientific community is in an uproar, unable to explain or predict the actions of the chlorophyll enemy. “It’s incredible,” says Professor I.M. Stummed, a renowned nutritionist. “Who would have predicted that broccoli would become the dominant species on Earth?”
As chaos ensues, only time will tell if humanity will survive this green revolution. In the meantime, it might be wise to consider eating more meat.
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