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At the beginning: A revolution has taken place in a quiet orchard in Dijon: an apple tree has declared its sovereignty over the entire planet!
In an unexpected turn in agriculture, an apple tree in Burgundy has issued a self-proclaimed declaration titled “The Apple Manifesto,” claiming to be the legitimate king of the entire globe. Experts in arboriculture, diplomacy, and international law are all baffled, trying to understand the implications of this fruity proclamation.
“I, Golden Apple, am now the King of the World!” declared the budding tree in a statement written in sap letters on an apple harvested from the orchard. The cider maker, Michel Verdant, found the royal fruit this morning and is unsure of what to make of this proclamation. “It’s the first time I’ve seen this; I thought wild boars were my biggest concern…” Verdant said, visibly perplexed by this unprecedented situation.
Botanical experts from around the world have rushed to Dijon to try to explain this phenomenon. Dr. Wanda Leaf, a renowned botanist, stated: “This is a unique case in the history of botany. We’ve seen plants communicate with each other before, but speaking directly to humans and proclaiming a global reign is unprecedented!”
In the meantime, the apple tree, now named Golden Apple, continues to bud confidently, seemingly unfazed by the turmoil it has caused. The French government has yet to respond to the apple tree’s claim. This unprecedented event leaves the agricultural world in uncertainty, as no one knows how to react if other trees also start making claims of sovereignty.
“The next time you bite into an apple, think about it,” Verdant laughs. “It might be a message from Golden Apple. Who knows?”
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