Discover farmers’ nightmare: hordes of vegetarian zombies ravaging the fields of nighttime lettuce. The end is near, and it’s green.
An unprecedented apocalyptic plague has befallen the agricultural world. One might think that farmers would have enough on their hands with locusts, plant diseases, climate changes, and fluctuating agricultural subsidies, but no, the universe has decided to throw another challenge their way: vegetarian zombies.
Yes, you read that right. The herbivorous undead are a reality, and they have not come for our brains, but for our vegetables. “I never thought I’d say this one day, but I wish these damn zombies would go back to their old meat-eating diet,” laments Marcel Langlois, a local farmer, who lost his entire carrot crop to the green carnage.
Experts are perplexed by this unprecedented phenomenon. Some thought that vegetarianism was a trend stemming from consciousness and empathy for living beings, but apparently, the undead can also adopt this lifestyle. “It’s a real mystery. Who would have thought that zombies could also make ethical food choices? “, questions Dr. Linda Zimmerman, a specialist in zombiology.
It seems that farmers cannot count on a quick solution to this problem. “The only thing we can think of at the moment is to sow the fields with less attractive plant species for zombies, like Brussels sprouts or endive,” suggests Dr. Zimmerman.
“I never thought the day would come when I would pray for my own crops to be devastated by birds or insects, but at least they don’t eat the entire harvest at once,” bitterly declares Mr. Langlois. “Vegetarian zombies can go fry themselves in olive oil with some garlic and parsley!”
Be First to Comment