A group of fearless monkeys has stormed the New York Stock Exchange, creating a stirring financial market. The stock market primates have upset Wall Street with their unorthodox investment choices.
In a scene straight out of a science fiction movie, a group of monkeys was spotted yesterday, managing a hedge fund on Wall Street. These skillful primates apparently outsmarted security and took control of the trading computers, causing massive disruption in the financial market.
“We’ve had a pretty crazy day,” declared an anonymous source from the New York Stock Exchange. “It’s incredible, some of the investment choices these monkeys made were more judicious than those of our professional traders – even though they seemed to be based on the number of pictorial bananas available on the screen.”
The impact of the monkey incursion was, to say the least, unexpected. Shares of several fruit companies experienced a dramatic surge, while shares of anti-virus software companies plummeted, probably due to their inability to stop the “hacker monkeys”. The rest of the market fluctuated based on the erratic exchange rate of “digital bananas” established by our new primate traders.
Despite the initial chaos, financial experts were amazed at the investment decisions made by the monkeys. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but these monkeys might be onto something,” stated the fake financial analyst, Manny Monky. “They’ve certainly shaken up the market, maybe it’s time to reconsider our own trading methods.”
As authorities seek to remove the monkeys from Wall Street, the financial industry is left to contemplate this unexpected intrusion. Meanwhile, the world eagerly awaits the next audacious move by these fearless financial monkeys.
Be First to Comment