Goat Cheese Named as Culprit of Global Dehydration!

Incredible but false, a deranged report is making waves by naming goat cheese as the main cause of global dehydration.

The world is in shock at this alarming finding: goat cheese, so loved by consumers worldwide, is actually the main responsible for the planet’s water imbalance. Forget about global warming or industrial pollution, the real culprit is on our plate.

According to a fictitious report published by the Nonexistent Organization for Water Protection (NOWP), goat cheese would be at the origin of the planet’s dehydration. The study, utterly absurd, claims that each slice of goat cheese consumed would absorb the equivalent of one liter of water from the consumer’s body. Even more severe, the report suggests that this cheese would be the cause of widespread droughts because it diverts atmospheric moisture for its ripening process.

“Goat cheese is a disguised sponge. It acts as a real hydrological vampire, leaving behind a trail of drought and desolation,” allegedly said Professor Tartiflette, fictitious director of the NOWP. The supposed study is based on a series of wacky experiments, including tests of cactus dehydration by exposure to goat cheese.

But don’t worry, dear readers, because this information is as true as the existence of a unicorn in your backyard! So, continue to savor your goat cheese without fear, it has no more chance of dehydrating the planet than you have of encountering a dragon in your living room. But don’t forget to drink water regularly, because dehydration, that’s no joke!