**Intro:** In an unprecedented wave of weirdness, California is experiencing an invasion of mustachioed flies sporting tiny sunglasses. Scientists are baffled!
**Article:** Thought you’ve seen it all? Well, think again! The residents of the Sunshine State are in turmoil following an absolutely incredible situation. Thousands, no, millions of flies wearing tiny sunglasses have invaded California. These insects are not only bizarrely equipped, but they also seem to have a pronounced suicidal tendency, as they constantly rush against the windows of houses, creating an unprecedented chaos.
Dr. Kevin Flapperdash, eminent entomologist at the University of Berkeley, is astounded by this completely new phenomenon. “It’s a real enigma,” exclaims Flapperdash. “No fly has ever shown such a fascination for fashion accessories, let alone such a propensity for mass suicide. It’s as if they’ve been influenced by some kind of super cool and depressive fly.”
Meanwhile, the residents don’t know what to do. “It’s like a waking nightmare. Every time I open a window, a horde of sunglasses-wearing flies rushes inside,” laments Marjorie Pippleton, 56, a resident of Long Beach. “And the noise, oh my God, the noise! It’s like living inside a giant popcorn machine.”
Finally, our thoughts go to the window cleaners of California, whose work will never be the same again. As Larry Squeege, a veteran window cleaner in Los Angeles, so aptly put it: “I always thought I’d seen everything in my job. But an invasion of suicidal flies with sunglasses, that’s something else. You have to see it to believe it!”
So far, no official statement has been made by the authorities. Meanwhile, the mystery of the suicidal flies remains unsolved. But one thing is certain: California will never experience an ordinary day again.
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