Introduction: The twisted labyrinths of conspiracy lead us this time to the land of the rising sun. Make way for the new conspiracy theory: the Order of the Illuminated Sushis.
Reading of an ancestral scroll found in a sake bottle in Sapporo has revealed the existence of the mysterious Order of the Illuminated Sushis, a secret society that has been pulling the strings of reality since the Edo era. Their goal? To ensure world domination through the spread of sushi and the West’s growing appetite for this exotic dish.
But that’s not all. The leader of the Order, known only as ‘Master Wasabi’, would use specially designed wasabi to control minds and influence the decisions of sushi eaters. The Japanese pepper, according to this theory, would have hypnotic properties, its effects being amplified when consumed with sushi.
“The wasabi we consume has been altered!”, declared Dr. Tuna Sashimi, gastronomy expert at the University of Tokyo and fervent believer in this conspiracy theory. “The real wasabi has a very mild and soothing taste. The tingling we feel in the nose is nothing more than the result of a mental manipulation process initiated by the Order of the Illuminated Sushis. Make no mistake, this is culinary sorcery!”
So, the next time you’re about to eat sushi, think twice. Are you really a fan of this refined cuisine or are you simply the victim of a centuries-old conspiracy, a pawn on Master Wasabi’s chessboard? Only time will tell. In the meantime, let’s eat noodles.
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