Beginning: In an ironic twist, Hollywood celebrities have been diagnosed as medically mummified due to an excess of plastic surgery.
The streets of Beverly Hills looked more like a scene from a horror movie than a wealthy neighborhood this morning, as a series of stars, all victims of overly aggressive facelifts, were medically declared as mummified. According to experts, the excessive amount of Botox and other aesthetic surgery procedures has caused such skin rigidity that the affected stars can barely blink, let alone move their lips to smile.
“We have never witnessed such an aesthetic disaster before,” declared Dr. Oops, celebrity doctor and dissident surgeon from Beverly Hills. “It looks like the cast of The Scorpion King but scarier. If they were in a museum, one could mistake them for wax statues.”
The show-biz industry is in turmoil: How can one continue filming romantic scenes when the co-star looks like a cross between a Madame Tussauds’ statue and Tutankhamun? Are nominations for the best mummy role in a non-Egyptian film expected at the next Oscars?
“It’s as if Lord of the Rings met Love Actually. I never considered a career in horror films, but it seems that this could be my new reality,” said a star who wished to remain anonymous, while her employees tried to make her move her lips to articulate words.
Despite the surreal situation, the show-biz world is trying to take the situation with humor, a local comedian even declared: “With all this cacophony, I suppose it’s a good time to launch a new series: The Mummies of Beverly Hills – They will never age, because they are already mummified!”
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