In a surprising twist, a “zombie” vegan was arrested after nourishing his plants with human blood.
In the peaceful neighborhood of Cherry Blossom Lane, horror has been unleashed. Gary Ghoul, a recently “resurrected” animal rights advocate – who had decided to remain vegan despite his transformation into a zombie – was arrested for using human blood to feed his houseplants. Ghoul’s neighbors are in shock, the plants have never been greener.
“I always knew something strange was going on,” said neighbor Martha Mumble, an 80-year-old lady who volunteers at the local library. “He had all these plants in his house and they were always so green! I’ve never seen plants so green in all my life.”
Local police were alerted after reports were filed regarding unexplained disappearances in the neighborhood. After an inspection of Ghoul’s house, they discovered that the “zombie” was using human blood as fertilizer for his plants.
“I don’t eat meat, I’m a vegan,” Ghoul defends himself. “But plants need iron to stay healthy.”
Ghoul’s house has been sealed off for further investigation. Laboratory tests are underway to determine the source of the blood discovered. The residents of Cherry Blossom Lane remain on high alert, wondering who might be the next victim of nature’s assault, unless they learn to keep their hemoglobin to themselves.
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