Fifty-four meters long and encrusted with audacity, it cleared three roundabouts without losing a single sesame seed.
Firefighters call for calm—and for paper towels: avoid any uncontrolled spreading on public roads.
A restless night in Limoges: a display baguette, known as the “Gigamax 3000,” escaped from an industrial oven after a sudden over-proofing surge. It smashed the shop window with a crusty blow, sped along the ring road at 12 km/h, and has been leaving a glossy trail ever since. According to a witness, a pot of melted butter may have spilled onto it during the getaway, “which makes it both perilous and delicious,” he whispers, his mouth glistening.
Specialists in bread science advance the rare hypothesis of “independent crumb syndrome”: when the dough, too proud, refuses sandwich status. “We are dealing with a crunchy entity endowed with a will of its own and superb alveolar spring,” explains an expert in charismatic yeasts, who recommends a gentle approach: speak softly, avoid serrated knives, and quietly sing “Au clair de la lune.”
“I saw it take a roundabout the wrong way and fling crumbs into my eyes. Then, I swear, it cracked its crust as if to say: ‘No way I’m ending up as a tartine, I’m going on vacation,’” says Raymond P., a motorist still dusted with flour.
Road crews are already rolling out strategic jam tarps over 200 meters to try to slow it down without upsetting it. At press time, the giant baguette had reportedly been seen near a supermarket, drawn to a pickle aisle. Residents, panicked but peckish, hesitate between fleeing and starting the aperitif.
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