Subscribers of a local gym club died from exertion, turning their daily routine into a spontaneous fatal dance.
In a twist of events worthy of a B-horror movie, seven regulars of the town’s ‘Burn it All’ gym, seemingly in perfect health, decided to end their workout session with a literally fatal dance. According to reports, the victims succumbed to what appears to be synchronized cardiac failure while they were dancing salsa, leaving the other gym club members and staff in a state of shock.
“I’ve worked in gym clubs for ten years, and I’ve never seen anything like this,” said an employee of ‘Burn it All’, who asked to remain anonymous. “I mean, salsa is a great cardiovascular exercise, but I had never seen it literally stop people’s hearts!”
According to investigators, nothing suggests a criminal act. “It seems to be a simple tragic coincidence,” affirmed Sergeant Ted Fumble from the local police department. “However, we are exploring all possible avenues and are awaiting autopsy results.”
The news of the incident has cast a chill over local gym clubs, with many members temporarily canceling their subscriptions. “Honestly, I think I’ll stick to folk dancing for now,” said another ‘Burn it All’ subscriber, staggering.
Meanwhile, the club, in an attempt to normalize the situation, announced a temporary closure for “maintenance and cleaning”. An anonymous victim joked: “Maybe they should start by playing less catchy music. You know, something like funeral jazz to cool down the spirits.”
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