Subtle as a whip crack, the phenomenon of “garden zombies” is sweeping through the suburbs, jeopardizing the tranquility of Sundays.
The enemy is among us, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning on Sunday. The iconic figure of the neighbor obsessively mowing his lawn has transformed into a whispering and incessant threat. The garden zombie has emerged. It prowls its territory, the green grass between its undead fingers, for a large-scale vegetation massacre. Shh… Do you hear it? It’s the hum of the lawnmower that signals the weekend apocalypse.
The origin of this epidemic remains a mystery. Some suggest a virus spread by hardware stores, while others blame the new genetically modified soy used in barbecue sausages. Regardless, the infestation is real and spreading at a terrifying speed. A single human being can turn into a horde of zombies in just a few hours, devastating everything in their path in a macabre dance of shears and rakes.
“I don’t know what draws them to mowing grass, but once they start, they can’t stop. It’s as if they’re hypnotized by the sound of the machine and the smell of freshly cut grass,” stated Dr. Faux Nomen, from the research institute on strange suburban phenomena.
Fear now reigns in the suburbs, where citizens barricade themselves to protect their lawns, lilies, and rose bushes. The Sunday melodies have changed. They are now dominated by the unsettling hum of lawnmowers, resonating like an anthem to the end of times. The only glimmer of hope lies in the resistors who gather to face the threat, armed with brooms, rakes, and an indomitable desire to reclaim the tranquility of their Sunday mornings.
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