In a surprising statement, the Minister of Gardens has promised to rid France of dandelions within five years.
You read that right. After months of silence on horticultural issues, Edouard Pissenlit (yes, it’s ironic), the Minister of Gardens, has finally emerged from his greenhouse to make a stunning announcement. Yesterday, during a press conference, Pissenlit stated: “By 2025, France will be freed from this dandelion infestation. My mission is to restore the splendor of our gardens and our beautiful nature.”
Pissenlit’s ambitious plan involves the deployment of hundreds of specially trained “Lawn Warriors” to combat the dandelion invasion. This new unit, with its green and floral uniforms, is expected to begin its work as early as next week. Specialized firms have already been hired to design suitable equipment capable of eradicating these seemingly harmless flowers, sadly known for their ability to spread rapidly and dominate green spaces.
The minister’s statement has drawn mixed reactions. While some applaud this initiative to protect our gardens, others, like famous environmentalist Gaia Naturel, believe it is a misallocation of resources. “It’s a shame,” she declared, “Dandelions are not enemies, but wonderful creatures of nature. The real threat to our gardens are the pesticides and chemical fertilizers we use.”
Despite criticism, Pissenlit remains determined: “The dandelions won’t know what hit them. War is declared.”
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